Out with the in-laws
Agony Aunt

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I am 40 years old and I live with my in-laws, husband and children. My father-in-law has a fiery temper and cusses at me and my family in front of our children. He does the same with my mother-in-law and her relatives. I don't want to create a strife in our marriage by suggesting they move out. What should I do?

I honour the fact that you do not want to create a strife in your marriage. But the happiness of your marriage not only reflects on the well-being of your husband and yourself but most importantly of your children. I would suggest you tell your husband that the situation is untenable and it would be better for everyone to find an apartment nearby. You could still have dinners together to begin with and slowly make it twice or thrice a week. You can still take care of your in-laws but you will finally have your space. Every woman deserves her own home to rule her roost and to decorate it the way she likes it. Once in Madison Avenue in New York, I saw a very elegant pillow with a meaningful sentence embroidered on top - “If Momma ain’t happy, ain't nobody happy.”

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