Breaking the mom-barrier
T-Junction Desk


I'm a 24 year old woman studying abroad for my undergraduate degree. Beginning to live away from home, I have gotten used to the free lifestyle I can now secretly have. My parents are conservative Muslims and they naturally don't take a liking to the idea of dating before marriage.

Regardless of what they think, I will marry the man of my choice and I will date before I tie the knot. Instead of arguing and fighting with them, I want to get them used to the idea of me going on dates. How do I broach the subject with my mother without driving her up the wall?

This is a particularly touchy subject to broach, especially if your parents are very particular about you leading a life free of dating (both casual and serious). First things first, only broach the subject face-to-face. Instead of announcing your decision, ease into it. Since we don't know just how comfortable you and your mom are, it's best to first find a common ground. Talk to her and get her to share her own experiences from her past. Once she feels more free talking to you, you may casually mention that you will choose the man you marry. See how she reacts and then break it down to her slowly. She may not take it well, but remember that she is your mother after all, and she will come around eventually. Be gentle and loving and try to steer clear from sounding too stern with her – it won't bode well.  

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