A seriously laidback column
Max Mystel Weekend

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It seems that lately there is a lot of hate regarding Muslims, in general. And with the rise of militant attacks it really doesn’t help Islam’s image on a global forum. However, on a brighter note I would like to forward my utmost gratitude to the new British Prime Minister Theresa May. She read out a verse from the Qur’an and sent a message to Muslims in Britain and around the world that Islam is a religion of peace and that she will not stand for atrocities caused in Islam’s name. That being said, there are plenty of haters out there that love to tarnish our religion, calling it violent and extreme, no matter what. To those, this next bit illustrates your uninformed point of view.

“Recently, a quote from a book lover showed up on my feed. It said: “Each time you open a book, a tree smiles, knowing there is life after death.” Life after death and a smiling tree? Holy cow! That’s extremist ideology right there; must be a terrorist, even worse, a well-read terrorist. All I am saying is educate yourselves regarding not just Islam but every religion possible. What this does in retrospect is prevent us from falling prey to any sort of propaganda, not to mention help us create a more educated, unbiased and aware society.

Lastly, I would like to leave you with a quote from one of the funniest man to have ever lived, the late Bill Hicks. A comedian, a poet and a social critic, Bill says: “The world is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it's real because that's how powerful our minds are. The ride goes up and down, around and around, it has thrills and chills, and it's very brightly coloured, and it's very loud, and it's fun for a while. Many people have been on the ride a long time, and they begin to wonder, ‘Hey, is this real, or is this just a ride?’ And other people have remembered, and they come back to us and say: ‘Hey, don't worry; don't be afraid, ever, because this is just a ride.’ And we … kill those people. ‘Shut him up! I've got a lot invested in this ride, shut him up! Look at my furrows of worry, look at my big bank account, and my family. This has to be real.’ It's just a ride. But we always kill the good guys who try and tell us that, you ever notice that? And let the demons run amok … But it doesn't matter, because it's just a ride. And we can change it any time we want. It's only a choice. No effort, no work, no job, no savings of money. Just a simple choice, right now, between fear and love. The eyes of fear want you to put bigger locks on your doors, buy guns, close yourself off. The eyes of love instead see all of us as one. Here's what we can do to change the world, right now, to a better ride. Take all that money we spend on weapons and defences each year and instead spend it feeding and clothing and educating the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded, and we could explore space, together, both inner and outer, forever, in peace.”
 

Without further ado let’s move on to the ‘Laidback’ part of this column, basically jokes:

  • Marriage is not a word, it’s a sentence. Let’s face it guys, the anagram for mother-in-law is “Woman Hitler.”

  • Adidas was one of my favourite brands as a teenager. Told my mom to get me a T-shirt from their outlet. When she said she would, I was happy that my mother was progressive. She gets me the t-shirt and I realise when it came to the size, she thought 10 years ahead. Not only was she progressive, she was a visionary.

  • I used to shoplift as a child with my friend. However, being Bangladeshi I was smart about it and never got caught. My friend on the other hand…was Indian.

  • Normally I do magic and I do comedy, so if I say something that’s not funny…it’s MAGIC!

  • When you’re a photographer, everyone greets you with: “Bhai ekta chobi tule den na please!”

  • People say I am addicted to desserts. I am not really; I only have them after meals. I have about 25 meals a day.

 

Max Mystel is a stand-up comedian, magician, a terrible writer and a professional bum

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