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Babul rebuts father-in-law's claim

  • Published at 03:24 am February 28th, 2017
  • Last updated at 11:51 am February 28th, 2017
Babul rebuts father-in-law's claim
A day after Babul Akter’s in-laws alleged that his murdered wife Mahmuda Khanam Mitu was tortured by Babul’s family and tried to commit suicide, the former police official lashed back at them with arguments and counter-allegations. Posting on his Facebook profile on Monday afternoon, Babul pointed out that his in-laws had previously made statements in the media attesting to his good marriage with Mitu. He also remarked that all of these allegations had suddenly emerged after he moved out of his in-laws’ with his children. The Dhaka Tribune has translated the full text of Babul’s message: Everyone is a judge, and I am a murderer without evidence So many people want to know so many things from me. Nobody cares if I am mentally ready to talk. But taking advantage of my silence, many have gone as far as fabricating stories from extra marital affair to murder. I am not concerned about such stories. I am busy with my two children who lost their mother. Besides, the responsibility of providing evidence falls on the people who have all these allegations. Yet, for the sake of my family members and well wishers, I feel obligated to say at least a few things. Let’s begin from the end. The end whence the disgrace began for me and my children. The two children have taken after their mother. Leaving her dinky quarters, whenever Mitu used to come to her father’s house in Dhaka, she would be restless to go back to her own house in Chittagong. The boy and the girl, in a matter of days, had also become restless to leave their grandparents’ house. Although they were my children, I did not want to take away their grandparents’ share of time with them. During the hardest of times, me and my in-laws, have been there for each other. Therefore, I did not want to go away from them with my own family like an ungrateful. So irrespective of the degree of discomfort and tantrums of my children, thinking of my in-laws, I lodged with them, I was grateful. I did not prefer to keep a cable line at home only because I thought my children would develop distasteful habits. After Mitu’s death, her children used to start the day with Star Jalsha, and end it with Star Jalsha. Whereas Mitu used to start her day by saying her prayers, her children had started to watch TV from 7 in the morning and get their breakfast served at 11. We were not used to such hours of taking our meals. All though the boy liked having his vegetables, he wouldn’t get the chance to take them more than a couple of time a month. I did not have the mind to dictate the meal plan of my children at someone else’s house. Yet I remained silent and grateful. His mother was murdered right in front of the eyes of my son. I have sent him for regular counseling. The one thing that the counselor stressed most was under no circumstances was anyone to talk about his mother’s death around him or ask him questions about the incident. For six months straight, I have tried to be by my son 24 hours a day. I have made sure that he doesn’t get exposed to any talk regarding his mother’s murder. But I had to go out sometime. The days that I had gone out of the house, I would find him distressed upon returning home. After coming back home one night, he asked me, crying: “Baba, if you hold in your urge to cry, does it start to give you a heartache? Why do I have such a terrible heartache?” I hugged him to calm him down, and asked: “What happened?” He said: “Grandpa and grandma ask me about mother all day. I feel like crying. But I can’t cry and it gives me these pangs.” Then he asked me to take him to a nice house like ours in Chittagong. The boy had many reasons to be uncomfortable at his grandparents’. My in-laws were a joint family. This meant that a total of three families: my father-in-law and my mother-in-law, my sister-in-law and her husband, the younger sister of my mother-in-law, and her immediate family lived altogether in the four-bedroom house. It was acceptable in their family, that husbands of the daughters of their family would lodge with them (what I was not accustomed with). After Mitu’s death, I started living in a small room in that house, that had started to seem even smaller. It was causing inconvenience for others as well. Besides, the neighbouring slum dwellers were loud and profane all the time, which agitated my son further. Although we had always taught our children to speak well, they started picking up the profanities from their surroundings after the death of their mother. The days went by in this way. I did not have any talk with my son about moving out of the house, thinking that he had forgotten all about it. But one day he pulled me by the hand to show a calender, and said: “Baba, your two moths are up today.” Startled, I saw that he had been crossing out days on the calender to count down the day we left the house. Then I asked for 15 more days. Considering all sides, I told my in-laws that the kids were not accustomed to such living conditions, and that I had to take them to a nicer environment. They offered a nice solution. They asked me to give them Tk10lakh to build more rooms upstairs, and move to those rooms. I didn’t have it in me to make them understand that I was not even worth Tk10. And so that the quarters did not get more claustrophobic, they advised that none of my own relatives should come to visit. My father-in-law told me that I had to choose either my own parents or them. Was I waiting to die? Who knows! But I was silent, and grateful. Days passed as slow as decades. The children started studying till midnight. I became afraid. I think taking too much stress of studies at such an early age is a hindrance in mental development. Besides, they were already under a lot of mental stress due to losing their mother. One day I asked my son what they studied till so late in to the night. Then he said that his grandma set him a target of making the admission test of Banasree Ideal School, this is why “Chhoto Ammu” makes them study till midnight. I thought he referred to Mitu’s younger sister Shaila. But later, I discovered that he referred to Mitu’s cousin, who had just passed her SSC exam (who used to live at Mitu’s parents’ house with her family) and my children were trained to call her mother. In fact, that little girl was told to look after us. One day, she posed as the mother of my son at one of his school programmes. At different times, she was asked to tell the role of the mother of my children. After returning home at night, I used to see her in my room with the children. I had not even lost my mind that much at my wife’s death that I would marry a school-going 16-year-old young girl to make her the mother of my children. All of them stressed that I had to start a new family in my in-laws house, and that I must stay there. What I used to feel then cannot be expressed in words. But subsequently, such attitudes started to bother me so much that instead of finding words to express my regrets to the notion, I rather found a job and a new house. I had told my in-laws before taking the new house, but they were very unsatisfied with my decision and had warned that I would have to pay for it. But I left the house silently, gratefully. Real life is unlike cinema. I would find the killers of my wife like a super cop?! There’s discipline in all things, there’s a process for everything. The investigation has been going on following all the proper procedures, and I participate in that process as much as I am required to. Whenever I was called for the ongoing investigation, I have gone to Chittagong from Dhaka, talked to the investigators over phone. The plaintiff has to introduce the witnesses to the investigators, I didn’t understand that! I did not have the luxury to go to Chittagong to introduce my parents or my in-laws with the investigators of the case as my children have not been without me even for a night since their mother’s death. They are used to sleeping next to me since their birth. They start crying even if they don’t see me for a few hours. I have to go home several times during the day, and sometimes take my children to the office. This is why although I had admitted my son to the school my father-in-law preferred, but looking at my son, later I got him admitted to a school near my office. I think my main offense was to not marry a child and leaving the house of my in-laws to live separately with my children. After Mitu’s death, her mother had said crying: “There was no disharmony in the 14 years of conjugal life of Babul-Mitu.” She had also said: “Babul is an angel.” Even in the last month (January 25, 2017) she told reporters in Chittagnong: “I don’t suspect Babul.” About different baseless scandalous reports about me in the media, my father-in-law had said: “These reports are baseless. These are being published to blind the investigation.” My sister-in-law had said: “There was no disharmony between my sister and he husband.” But in a matter of few months, their statements have changed! Eight months after Mitu’s death, her family members have suddenly remembered that I used to ignore Mitu, misbehaved with her on end, I was involved in extra marital affairs all through, Mitu wanted to kill herself and that Mitu had to be with me helplessly! But in these eight months, Mitu’s mother could not even remember once that I had misbehaved with her before her death. Although they got to know about Mitu’s suicidal tendencies 2-3 moths ago, they said to reporters last moth in Chittagong that they didn’t suspect me. They claimed that they were silent thinking about my naive children. Then, have my children grown up just in eight months? They understand everything now? They no longer care about them? I don’t understand what kind of parents would let their daughter be with a husband who would have extra marital relations!!! Do not parents give in the bare minimum efforts to make their daughter happy!? And if the daughter’s husband was addicted to extra marital relations, with whom she had the most traumatic relationship, even after eight months of her murder, how could it not occur to them that the husband had murdered her? Rather, they kept the husband in their own house for six months and tried to marry another of their daughters to the same man?! I don’t know how many more stories I have to hear. My father-in-law had already stated that I have multiple relationships at home and abroad. Hearing them, I now feel as if womanizing was my full time job, and my real job only a part time one!!! My in-laws have kept their word. They have left no stones unturned to humiliate me. “We will give you a bad name. We won’t let you have peace,” they are trying to do everything that they had threatened. I am a rebellious son-in-law, for I have not abandoned my own parents and family, neither have I continued to live with them and married my own 16-year-old sister-in-law. The day Mitu had died, the whole country was in shock. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law (Shaila) were also grief-stricken. That day forgetting all about Mitu’s body, they were busy bagging all our clothes, jewelry and savings from the almirah to take them to Dhaka from Chittagong!! Besides, later they had gone to Chittagong in the name of organising a milad and called in a locksmith to break into the almirah to get whatever they couldn’t take the last time. Later, I was very hurt to see Mitu’s relatives use her clothes. I have no other things of Mitu to give to my children so that they could remember her. Shocked, I was silent, grateful. I want to see a single couple in the whole world who do not have a difference in opinions or misunderstandings. Am I asking to touch the moon? Yes, most definitely yes. I have said earlier, that even angels would not have a family that never quarreled. Like 10 other couples, we also used to have our fair share of misunderstandings. Certainly people don’t kill each other over it. Besides, no one stays with a person for 14 years only to later kill them. Would people who are bloodthirsty for each other give birth to two children? And reading the reports of my extra marital affairs on media, my question as a rational reader would be: Is there any proof for these claims? Akram’s sister Rini alleged that I had influenced the police to drop my name from the allegation of Akram’s murder. But she had not even mentioned my name in the allegation at that time. Rini had alleged at the court at that time that Akram’s wife had murdered Akram due to her extra marital affair with her cousin Moon. In that complaint, Akram’s wife, her so called lover Moon, and Akram’s father-in-law and mother-in-law were mentioned. Besides, I was not even in the country when the incident took place. After all these years, forgetting all her previous allegations, Rini has gone to a retired police officer (my father-in-law) to seek justice for her brother’s murder!!! And Akram’s wife lives in Jhenaidah and Magura; I used to live in Chittagong until my promotion. And I barely got the time and opportunity to go home once a year. I did not know that you could have a relation with someone without knowing that person or ever meeting that person. Akram’s sister has claimed that her mother died out of grief for her son. Now if I were to be accused for the death of Akram’s mother as well, I wouldn’t be surprised. Because she has gone to a retired police officer (my father-in-law) for justice. This is true that Akram’s wife used to live in the same area as us in Magura, and after her husband’s death she had sought legal help from my younger brother (who is a lawyer and lives in Magura), but I had nothing to do with that. If one was to be connected in extra marital affairs with everyone from the neighbourhood or with everyone that my father or brother knows, the list of names would be longer than the stretch of northern hemisphere to southern hemisphere. The moment I moved out of the house of my in-laws, that very moment my father-in-law got to know about my extra marital affairs, right then my mother-in-law got to know about my fights with Mitu, right then Akram’s sister got to about my relation with Akram’s wife, right then everyone got to know that I was the playwright of the drama. My respectable father-in-law and mother-in-law are probably following the mantra that “if you repeat a lie 10 times, it becomes truth.” Yet, I am grateful to them. Because they are my my wife’s parents and my children’s grandparents. I want that my wife gets justice. She is the mother of children, and she was the rock of my world. I don’t think anyone has mourned her death more than me and my children. We have still not coped with her loss. I am relentlessly trying to give my children a normal life. In the middle of all this, people are saying whatever they please, they are publishing whatever they please. When my son reads and watches all these reports, how does he feel? Without any solid evidence, whoever is saying all these things based on someone’s allegations fueled by their own interests, imagine yourself in my shoes, and your own child in place of mine, and then take up your pen. It’s my son’s birthday today. It’s his first birthday without his mother. What is he thinking? How much is he hurting? Who has the time to think about these things? What I have said is familial. Maybe the parents who have lost their daughter, are expressing their grief through all these intentional and illogical statements, that is why I do not want to make the slightest sound in response. But now these talks have crossed the boundary of family and become a source for household entertainment. That’s why I had to say some things today. It is not possible to say everything in this limited scope. If I sit down to say everything, it will probably turn into a book.
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