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Face your problems, don’t Facebook them

  • Published at 11:38 am August 18th, 2016
Face your problems, don’t Facebook them

Facebook and other social media have always been a platform for us Millennials to share and overshare about our personal lives and the problems that we face every other day.

On average, we have more than 500 friends on Facebook, but soon we realise that out of those, only about 10 or 15 are from our inner, close circle. A very small minority consist of those that love us. And for a well liked person, it may be as high as 30. So it means that between 96% and 99% of your Facebook friends do not love you. By that measure, there really isn't too many people that will be rooting for you as you share how you've suffered through 2 hours of traffic in Mohakhali, or how you're wailing the death of your favourite pet cat.

Essentially, it seems, there are two kinds of oversharers on Facebook. One is that Facebook user who always uploads carefully thought out statuses, even more meticulously selected profile pictures or that perfect happy timehop photo to show that life is all happiness when it really isn't. Second, is that genuinely frustrated, always angry young man/woman who can't stop ranting about the vices of the world. Hating, complaining, and firing away on the keyboard, it's almost as if rage is never real unless expressed on Facebook. While we can sympathise from time to time, offer a helping hand in the form of likes or even that stray comment, after a while, lets put it simply: it. just. gets. suffocating. Who likes to scroll through Facebook and come face to face with a stream of sad, depressing statuses? These type of keyboard warriors can be further separated into smaller minorities of angry birds. We've all come across at least one of these types.

When inspirational posts are positively demotivating

First, there's the victim. The phoenix that has risen from some form of life-changing situation, to rise above through your newsfeed, in all it's virtual glory. The life-changing situation could range from anything like moving to a new city to moving on from having a 'back stabbing' friend. Whatever the case is, these one's love to document their inspiring journey from that 'dark' time in their life. First they'll post detailed posts about the event that changed their life. Then they'll proceed towards inspirational posts, sharing Bilal Philips statuses or other memes that show that they are getting by. We get it, you are strong, you are male/woman and you are surviving. Now please. Move on. Survive beyond Facebook - that's possibly one struggle you need to overcome. Harsh, but true.

The ex-cellent dilemma

Don't we all just love to hate on love. Love gone wrong, love going right, or love at war. The best kind of love is surely when exes decide to wage war on Facebook. Give it a couple of weeks and in comes the posts littered with Taylor Swift lyrics or Adele tunes. As one famous meme once put it, all these posts about missing your ex is making me miss him too. An inspirational "moving-on-with-life" status/post maybe inspirational from time to time, but when you overdo it, it just becomes a cliche that we can't help but shrug off with a grimace.

When your newsfeed becomes pet cemetery

We all love kittens and puppies and 9gag posts of animals doing cute things. Who wouldn't? We can't help but coo over the pups your dog gave birth too, or giggle about how your kitten is afraid of cucumber. But wait until your pet is dead, your newsfeed becomes the pet cemetery with every other third person on your distant friend list paying tribute to the great lives lived by your kitten. Remember the time I sat in your living room and your dog decided to show us tricks? Let's tell Facebook about it. Remember the time you posted a photo when your dog was a just a pup? Let's tell Facebook how we're reminded of that photo and how it leaves a hole in my heart. Anytime a pet dies, there's loaded Facebook statuses and some distant statuses remembering the good times. It's cute, but stop. Ever heard the phrase "Rest In Peace"? These ones haven't.

Forgive me not

Finally there's those sad ones that seem to be crumbling in this mosh pit of guilt and remorse. They take to Facebook to apologise, seek forgiveness, and to redeem themselves from whatever way they think they have wronged. Sometimes these statuses are so lengthy, you want to forgive them just glancing at the length of the text. It must have been exhausting to write, and it sure is exhausting to read. For the sake of the world, we forgive you.

A recent study by the author Dr Dar Meshi found that people who feel compelled to share information about themselves online have heightened activity in a region of the brain responsible for social cognition and reward-related processing.

We keep seeing our friends and closed ones ranting about anything and everything, being the poets they could never be in real life, and praying to God, using Facebook as a medium (like God is monitoring Facebook). From constant updates about breakfast, lunch and dinner to relationship problems, some Facebook users just love to share every aspect of their lives with the world. While some statuses are welcome and bring us comic relief, some just add to the already depressing paradigm of the world. Some even argue that those that overshare on Facebook are somewhat weak-minded or immature. While that is entirely debatable (expect another five fiery statuses about the previous sentence alone), one thing is true: those that overshare maybe lonely, maybe annoying but they certainly are brave to be able to put their heart out in public, open for scrutiny, open for the comments, be them good or bad. So kudos to those of you who can, and also to those of you who put up with it. Happy Facebooking!

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