Q. Dear Dina,
My parents keep snooping into my things because they think I'm a terrorist. I admit, I've been in a few arguments with them over the past few months, but its nothing out of the ordinary. I've just been really stressed at work lately and may have been a little short-tempered with them on a couple of occasions, but that too because they sometimes come up with the most absurd requests and suggestions. Unfortunately, this appears to have led to them believing that I am thoroughly depressed and volatile. How do I explain to them things are fine?
A. Dear Unstable,
I’m not sure how one makes the leap from “moody brat” to “terrorist” but I suppose everyone is understandably on edge these days. I would hazard a guess that maybe you’re irritable because you’re an adult still living at home with your parents. As long as you remain under their roof, it is their prerogative to pepper your existence with myriad annoyances and absurdities. They may be doing it precisely because they want you out of their house so they can finally go on that Mediterranean cruise they would have gone on by now, had you not been eating them into the poorhouse. So, lest you wish to add to your burdens by being evicted, I suggest you buck up and start behaving better.
Q. Dear Dina,
I've recently started seeing this guy who I quite like but I'm not looking for anything exclusive with him. It's only been a couple of months and last week, while we were hanging out, he suddenly expressed how into me he was and that he really wants things to be serious between us. I still like him and want to keep seeing him but I'm really not on the same page as he is. How do I explain this to him without ruining what we have?
A. Dear Casually yours,
Not everyone likes to be treated like a piece of meat, it seems. Since his feelings are of such an inconvenience to you, perhaps you should consider breaking it off with him and attempt to find someone as frivolous as yourself. There is no shortage of commitment phobic men prowling the streets looking for girls who are giving the proverbial milk away for free, so untether the poor lovelorn fool and let him find a new cow to love. Of course, you can hang on to him until you find someone with whom you can have an actual relationship, if they are worthy enough. Just explain to your friend with rapidly-expiring benefits that you really enjoy the attention he gives you and that you’re perfectly happy for him to pine after you so long as he expects no emotional reciprocity. In all likelihood, the silly fellow will leap upon this stunning offer because he is no longer capable of rational thought. Enjoy it while it lasts.