So you were not able to get 7As in one sitting to achieve a Pearson Award for your O Level results.
Or maybe, you obtained a 4.9 out of 5, and missed out on that golden A+ in your HSCs.
What about that internship your best-friend got accepted to, which you got rejected from?
One of your juniors at class recently got into a prominent Ivy League University, while you could not even get into the esteemed public universities in the country.
I want to let you know that this is not to make you feel depressed (more than you currently are) by making you recount your “failures” in life.
I am just here to let you know that you are not alone, and this is not the end of the world.
All that glitters
We are in a society that values a person based on their education level, property, and their career status. Examples can be seen within your own family.
I think most of us have already heard of that one relative’s son or daughter, who had recently passed the BCS exams, or has received an offer from a dream college, or maybe even some award. And your parents -- your biggest supporter and your biggest critic -- just cannot stop comparing you to them.
Facing the music
You tried to cut your wrists the other day, but were too scared to die. What if people wanted you to die? What if they did not care? You must be feeling lost and aimless.
Your future seems hopeless, and you do not know which road to take from the options. You might even feel guilty because you feel so utterly helpless, and the thought must have crossed your mind: “There are people suffering from much worse things than I am.”
You fear being judged and ridiculed, and are told: “That is not something to be depressed about” or the infamous, “get over it, already.”
The feeling of being useless, lonely, and suicidal is very, very normal. You do not have to justify your actions to anyone
You are suffering from depression, my friend. And it is real, it is not something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about.
It hurts so much to wake up every morning and thinking: “I may be better off dead.”
You may not cry, but your heart feels heavy and the air you breathe suffocates you.
You do not enjoy the little things in life anymore.
You do not deserve this. Nobody does. You are a beautiful person inside and out, who does not need to be pressured all the time by societal expectations, which do not define you at all. You have a long life to live, and you will have to fight against the world to live it in your way.
You are not alone. I do not know you, but I already understand your pain. The feeling of being useless, lonely, and suicidal is very, very normal.
You do not have to justify your actions to anyone. You are a loving son or daughter, a trustworthy friend, a supportive sibling, if they cannot understand you, then it is their fault, because you deserve much more in life.
Talk to someone you trust. Go see a psychiatrist, if possible (no, you are not mad). Pray if you think God is there for you. Erase your “mistakes” and restart your life afresh. Look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself this is not over.
You have too many things to do, so don’t give up yet, my friend. Scrolling through Facebook makes you depressed? Deactivate.
Because life is too precious to let go.
Montaha Chowdhury is a freelance contributor.